The Delights of Anticipation

A Change Of Heart

The absence of words on my blog lately has been in stark contrast to the explosion of thoughts and ideas that have been running wild in my brain in the past month or so.  It took lots of reflection and a bit of nerve to come to the conclusions that I have and to ready myself to act on them. 

Because of that reflection, I am going to be changing things up a bit.  I am hard at work on making the changes that I feel are best for my family, myself and my heart.  Life is too short to spend time on things that don't leave you fulfilled and happy so I am not going to do it anymore.

I am so excited to share with you my plans when the time is right.  It's not yet, but  hope that it will be soon.  I have taken the first step.  I have given myself to permission to work on other things, to want to move on from things that I have put lots of time and energy and passion into, to have a change of heart.

Ch, Ch, Changes

After weeks, well really months, of deliberation, stress, indecision and just a jumble of emotions I have decided that some changes are in order in my life. 

I have spoken recently about dreams here and my pursuit to make mine come true.  I shared one of my dreams involving photography and my passion for it and the hope to be able to share it with others in a bigger way and I am working really hard towards making that a reality. 

In the crazy cyclone of activity that I have been putting myself through with the kids, my business, my dream catching and life in general I have found that I am just not happy.  I have been so stressed about everything that I have on my plate that I am unable to enjoy the dreams that are already fulfilled and really enjoy the passion behind my dreams that are still waiting to be brought to life.

It took some encouragement through wonderful posts by this incredible lady and some real soul searching on my own to get to this point but it was this videothat pushed me over the edge.  It was such a bittersweet reminder of what is really important in my life right now and how quickly it all slips by.  I just don't have time to do anything that doesn't bring me joy or enrich my life in some profound way and the way I have currently been doing things just isn't working.  I want to enjoy my kids, not brush them aside because I have so much work to do and orders to get done.  I have no time to develop passions like my photography and other dreams that have laid dormant and I have begun to resent that.

It is time for a change and I am ready to make it.

Tonight I will be putting my shop and website on vacation while I work on the changes I want to make.  I love to design clothing and don't necessarily want to stop doing it, it just can't be the way that I have been right now.  I will be re-opening my shop as a ready-to-ship store.  I will be making up a number of items in various sizes and that is what will be available in the store.  I will post here and Facebook when new items are listed.  I will no longer be making items to order or doing any custom work.  I can't tell you what a huge relief it will be to get an order in and not have to go through the whole process I have to now, especially when I or my kids are sick!  All I will have to do when an order comes in is wrap it up pretty and send it on it's way.  It also gives me a chance to be more creative and add one-of-a-kind and limited items in between collections since I won't be bogged down with making 6 orders at once.  It will give me a chance to slow down and do this on a smaller scale.  I can spend more time with my kids, working on my photography and just enjoying life. 

When my kids are older and I have nothing to do, I can always come back into it full steam ahead and maybe realize some dreams that I once had for Little Lotti.  Until then, I am so happy to finally be able to get the weight that has been sitting on my shoulders off and start enjoying my life, my family and my other passions. 

If you have read all that and it makes some sort of sense to you, I thank you.  I can ramble sometimes;)

Theshopwill close tonight at 8pm EST so if there is anything that you want to make sure you are able to get in the size you need be sure to head over and place your order:) 

A New Song

I am a dweller.  There I admit it.  I have a tendency to dwell on things.  The things that I feel went wrong, conversations that seemed weird, a strange look, you name it I have probably stressed about it.  I have always been a people pleaser, much worse when I was younger.  Not as much anymore.  There is something about motherhood that makes you way tougher than you used to be.  But in my people pleasing days i was always quite positive.  I was proud of being eternally optimistic but all it took was some adult size struggles to quench that light.  After going through some tough times I found myself getting down way too easily.  Dwelling on the bad.  I found myself sitting in my grief and wearing my disappointment like an ill fitting sweater.  Oh, I tried lots of times to shake myself out of it and get back to the joyous me, but it was always temporary.  For the past year I have been hearing my pastor speak about "a new day" on sunday mornings and at first I got really excited about it.  That is until the new day still wasn't here months after that word.  Again I found myself dwelling.  Something changed in me this Sunday as I heard my pastor speak not only about new days and better times but about singing a new song and it really resonated with me.  How can I expect the full blessing that God has in store for me if I am still singing that same old sad song?  Yes, I may go through the motions of changing but am I really doing it.  Maybe I was and just didn't keep it up or maybe I never did.  I can't change that now but I can change what I do now.  I always have words of strength and encouragement for others, now it is time to really listen to what I have said to them.  I know that God has big things in store for me, all I have to do is believe.  I wanted to get this out here in the blogosphere to give myself a way of being accountable to myself.  When I find myself sitting in disappointments I will come back here and read this.  It is time to put a new song in my mouth.  It IS a NEW DAY.

(photo courtesy of bhg.com)

A Little Get Up And Go

I had big plans for this week.  Lots to do and all would get done in perfect order with smiles and laughs and little treats sprinkled throughout.  It is only a few hours into my day and I am reminded that things hardly ever go as planned.  Sleeping in a bit and then leisurely awaking to sip some tea and have a much needed workout, didn't happen.  Baby girl was up almost 2 hours earlier than normal wanting to play.  Now I am exhausted and am in no way interested in exercise.  The floors need to be mopped, there is laundry to put away and work to do.  I am in need of that 2nd wife that my friend Kasey was talking about.  I am hoping that this day can be salvaged as I really want this last week before school starts to be a good one.  I suppose I need to suck it up and get to it then.  Best laid plans.......

The Value Of Sick Days

I learned a valuable lesson today abotu sick days and why one takes them.  I was unfortunate enough to come down with who-knows-what a couple days ago right as I was planning a few marathon work days to get orders finished and inventory made up for this coming weekends festival.  Saturday I felt it coming on but pushed through and sewed for about 8 hours.  I really regretted that later that night and the next morning.  Still feeling awful I decided to get up Sunday morning and get the family ready for church.  I held my own thorugh church in between hot and cold flashes and a constantly running nose with the idea that after a little rest I could get back to work.  Fast forward to later that day as I lay comatose on the coucj and you will understand why that did not end up happening.  Well, today I woke up still feeling like I was hit by a mack truck but fully determined to get back to work.  That was also a bit of a mistake.  I thought that i was doing well and really moving along until I realized that I had sewn a bodice onto the inside of a dress.  Now I am going to try to clear my blurry eyes long enough to undo all of that worka nd start over again tomorrow.  This, it seems, is why one should take sick days when one is to sick to see straight.  I hope that the same does not hold true for blogging or I might regret this post tomorrow. 

On the bright side my sister just took the kids for a bike ride and I am alone in blessed silence.  I just got out of, get this, an UNINTERUPTED shower!  If you are not familiar with this elusive beast you really must try it out sometime.  Imagine bathing in utter silence with nothing but your thoughts to keep you comapny and the door closed.  The door closed!!!!  No one bursting in to ask what is taking you so long, or to report the misdeeds of a brother or sister.  No ear-piercing shrieks that make you run dripping from the shower horrified at what you might find to see your youngest throwing a tantrum about some silly little thing.  It was glorious folks.  Pure magic, and I will treasure it always. 

For those waiting patiently for your orders, do know that I will get them to you as soon as possible.  I am truly sorry for your wait but it will just be a few days more before you package is arriving on your doorstep.

Let us see if I can't find a picture to tie up this post neatly......

 

One could recover quite quickly in a bed like that, no?

Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy

Once again I have been neglectful of my blog but really, sometimes it's necessary.  I have been running in 800 different directions and sometimes it is good to just sit down, reflect and re-evaluate.  I have been doing alot of that lately.  A long talk on the doorstep of a friend's earlier this week prompted a deeper inspection of my plans and goals.  I am an impulsive person and had been trying to do everything that popped into my mind and sounded good.  That is huge problem for crafty or just plain imaginative people but most know how to reign it in a bit.  I apparently, do not.  My friend gave me the great advice (that really, I should have thought of myself anyway) to sit down in a quiet place with no distractions and really think about what it is that I want to do.  If there were no limitations and anything were possible, what would I really want to be doing?  Now, finding a quiet place to think is not exactly possible with my 3, but I have learned how to tune certain things out.  So I sat and I dreamt and suddenly the answers were right there in front of me and crystal clear.  At this point in my life, I know exactly what I want to do.  I want to be here and visible in my children's lives so for that I need to find a way to make time for being at the school and just being with these 3 blessings that I have.  I would like to re-join the choir at my church and get back to performing as it is in my blood.  As for my business, I have so many things that I would like to do but at the end of the day there are 2 things that, for me, are the best outlet of my creativity and the things that aside from family and friends are the closest to my heart.  Fashion and photography.  I love Little Lotti so much and have so many ideas for where I want to take it, so my number one goal right now is to really build my brand.  Along with my line I will be spending as much time as I can studying and growing my photography.  I have loved photography and been fascinated by those that do it well my entire life but just recently, as I have shared before in previous posts, realized that maybe I can do it too.  I am a part of a wonderful photography forum where I am learning so much and have found so much joy as I have begun to realize just how much photography means to me.  I will be working for as long as it takes me to get to a place where I feel like I have come into my own with my photography so that perhaps one day, I can share it with others in the form of fashion photography for small independent designers like me, prints to sell and maybe, just maybe, lifestyle photography.  We'll see where the lord leads me but I know that all things are possible, I have only to ask.  Because of all of this I have decided that there just is not enough of me to continue with my plans to launch my line of nursery linens and decor.  I am not nearly passionate enough about it to give it my all along with everything else so I am halting production of that.  I have lots of ideas though for cute things that I can whip up to use as props if when I start my photography business.  So, that is what I have been doing over here while everyone was living it up at Country Living and Farm Chicks;)  I have lots to do but I am so excited about it all.  I am focused and know where I want to go and how to get there.  It is time to get to work!

Since no post is complete without pictures, here are a few from soccer last Saturday.  Totally unrelated to the post but let's live dangerously;)

 

 

 

 

 

Take One Cup Of Couture And Call Me In The Morning

I was feeling bad this weekend about my poor little neglected blog and decided that I really need to get back into the blogging swing of things.  I don't really know what has been wrong lately or why I have been so unattentive but I am going to try to do better.  I have just been so tired latey.  Tired, forgetful, just not with it.  I think that I have just been doing to much all by myself and have gotten a bit burnt out.  The inspiration is there and I have so many ideas that I am so excited to see come to life.  I am just too darn tired to do it!  Maybe I'll take a nice rest, get to bed early and wake up refreshed and rejuvinated.  Here's hoping. 

On a more positive note, I did manage to get some things done this weekend and feel good about that.  I worked on inventory for Nest~Vintage and hope to be able to open my new shop soon.  I completed more samples for my fall collection, The Story Club and whipped up a couple of cute things for Layla that I plan to reproduce and put in my Etsy shop as one of a kinds and limited editions.  I haven't had alot of time to play around with my camera but plan to this week.  It has been gorgeous outside and I definitely want to take advantage of the sunshine and colorful landscape.  I am also pledging this week to devote more time to the various social and business networking communities that I belong to.  There just isn't enough time in the day is there?

Anyway, enough of my sad ramblings, here's something pretty to look at:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

*le sigh*  Is there anything that  a little couture can't make better?  Don't answer that!

Pictures are all Elie Saab Couture from various seasons.  My fave.  Happy Monday all:)

*Le Sigh*.....Big Time

 

I gotta tell you, I really don't have anything to say right now.  I just saw these shoes and had to share.  There are really no words for what I am feeling right now.  I saw these lovelies and literally leaped out of my seat.  No joke.  If it wouldn't have scared the kids I would have screamed.  These shoes are the most magical, perfect things I have seen in a while and if they do not find their way onto my feet this summer I just might very well die.  Well, perhaps that's a bit dramatic, but I would be very, very sad.  I almost hesitate to give you the link for fear that you will all buy up my pretty wedges and leave none for me, but alas, they are already sold out.  No worries, they will be back in stock at some point;)  So here.  Enjoy!

What I'm Loving Right Now

Warm cozy blankets that ward off the winter chill

Time-stopping good books that make you forget you have other things to do

Layla's belly laughs (always sure to cause a chain reaction of laughter)

Chubby arms around my neck

The whispers and giggles of brothers who should be sleeping (sounds so much better than fighting)

Photography blogs (like here, here and here, oh and here too) I dare you to not be inspired

Delicious goodies that do nothing to help one's figure

Knitting, not knitting well, but knitting

The Etsy front page treasurey (chock full of talented artists and delightful things)

Finding beauty in the everday things that surrond us

Ribbons, lace, jewels and everything that you can do with them

Spending time doing absolutely nothing

Dreaming and planning

Living in a country where truly ANYTHING is possible

                                          

Living A Beautiful Life

                        

                              

There's something about a New Year that makes one want to evaluate their lives and try something new.  The always inspiring blog The Inspired Room has found a way to not only make the idea of new years resolutions doable but beautiful and fun.

"A Beautiful Life 12 Months Of Goals" is about setting monthly goals that help you to create the beutiful life that you want.  You choose what you want out of your life this year and break it into monthly goals.  It's not about the standard reolutions of losing 10 pounds or watching less tv.  It is a chance to focus on much broader goals like seeing the beauty in everyday and finding more peace.  It's beautiful in it's simplicity and inspiring in it's goal and I am excited to participate.  Melissa's goals are so great that I basically just re-wrote hers with a few changes just for me.  Here they are.

January: Balanced Living

February: Ambience (finding beauty every day, with photographs)

March: Organization (in life & business)

April: Peace (regular quiet times, communicating without shouting, slowing down)

May: Family

June: Healthy Living

July: Financial Freedom

August: Contentment

September: Routines

October: Hospitality

November: Gratitude

December: Giving (philanthropy)

I look forward to sharing my journey towards a life more beautiful with you all throughout the year.  I'm thinking that maybe I should do one of these for my business too.  Hmmm....that's another post;)